Sunday, October 3, 2010

CWG opening ceremony make India proud, as India get it done, in own style of diversity and mast music.

Times of India quoted it as
"In the end, it turned out like a perfect Indian wedding. Shrugging off all the heartburns, last-minute snafus and accompanying chaos, everything fell into place; and it left both the baraatis and the dulhanwaalahs, with huge smiles on their faces.

The next few days will tell us if the honeymoon too, if not the marriage itself, will be as successful. "

UK leading newspaper Guardian says:
"
'India has arrived': spectacular ceremony opens Commonwealth Games.......

But for a moment, it had seemed as though India was about to miss the 19th Commonwealth Games.
Only days ago, there were question marks over security, crucial timing equipment and the apparently sub-standard £150m athletes' village. There were calls for an alternative competition to be organised elsewhere.

Indians talked of being shamed by their own leaders, and insulted by those of other countries.

But all that appeared to have been washed away in a flood of Indian national pride and celebration tonight. Though catcalls greeted Suresh Kalmadi, the chairman of the organising committee, he was cheered when he told the crowd: "India has arrived"."

CNN praised India this way.."
 India hopes for glow after gloom as Commonwealth Games open............

New Delhi, India (CNN) -- After harsh criticism and controversy, the 2010 Commonwealth Games began Sunday in New Delhi with a lavish opening ceremony.

Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium gleamed with multi-colored lights as representatives from Commonwealth countries walked the length of the field by turns, waving their flags and wearing traditional native costumes.

It's the first time India has hosted the international sporting event between countries of the former British Empire. The games, held every four years, include many Olympic events as well as other sports played traditionally in those countries.

Britain's Prince Charles and Indian President Pratibha Devisingh Patil officially declared the games open. Prince Charles was representing his mother, Queen Elizabeth.

Leading Australian Newspaper says:

India sweeps aside games shame ...........
AFTER weeks dominated by the old India of corruption, poverty and chaos the new "Incredible India" of diversity and cultural pride showed its face.

Will it be enough to erase the national shame of the last few weeks?
If the capacity crowd at Delhi’s impressive new Jawarhalal Nehru Stadium were any indication the answer is an emphatic, and ecstatic, yes..............

Australian Newspaper HeraldSun Says:

Commonwealth Games make spectacular start ............
IT was a Commonwealth Games opening ceremony that made India's troubles seem so far away.

After a lead-up plagued by terror threats, a bridge collapse, a shambolic village, the first case of dengue fever and more, India delivered a brilliant and lively opening ceremony.............

......Those international visitors who defied fears of terrorism, disease and shoddy workmanship to make the trip to support their athletes, saw the Jawahar Lal Nehru Stadium transformed into a magical display of dance, song and, above all, unfettered enthusiasm.

Traditional Nagada drummers beat out the countdown before the ceremony's much-lauded aerostat, the world's biggest helium balloon, rose in the centre of the stadium.

A Namaste dance - meaning `welcome' in Hindi - where dancers formed the shape of two palms pressed together in a common Indian greeting, was also a crowd favourite.

The ceremony began with a dramatic flourish as percussionists beat giant drums and red pyrotechnic flames shot into the air from the brand-new Australian constructed stadium roof.

All this is enough evidence .. how India is transforming to .. global leader....

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Selfish By Nature.... Whom to blame...

I've been indulge myself in freelance human nature physiology for last couple of years...
I'm much more interested in  human nature; how they behave ; how they react. Why they behave like they are behaving or why they react like how they're reacting.

This subject always attracted me .
Today I came across very interesting article in Yahoo and Times of India as well, regarding selfish nature of the person. If someone is selfish by nature whom to blame for his\her this nature.

Acting selfish? Well, blame your mother, says a new study.

Francisco Ubeda, assistant professor of ecology and evolutionary biology at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, along with fellow evolutionary biologist Andy Gardner from Oxford University, examined the impact that genomic imprinting has on the carrier's selfish or altruistic behaviour.

Genomic imprinting is the phenomenon in which the expression of a gene depends upon the parent who passed on the gene. Every person has a set of chromosomes from each parent but due to imprinting, a particular gene -- either the one inherited via egg or sperm -- is inactivated.

Ubeda and Gardner developed an evolutionary mathematical model that examined the consequences of ancestral women's tendency to follow their mates and raise their children among people they are not related to.

They found this behavior spurs a conflict between mom and dad genes in a juvenile over how it should act in society.

The battle all has to do with relatedness.

"Because the child's dad stayed put, the genes the child gets from dad are more likely to be present in her neighbours. The genes telling her to be nice to neighbours (genes for altruism) will be dad genes. Because her mom moved around to be with dad, and thus is not related to the other villagers, her maternal genes will be telling her to be mean to neighbours," Úbeda said.

Therefore, if a child finds an apple, her paternal genes will tell the child to share it with other children in the village, since the other children are likely to be relatives. Her maternal genes, will say ''keep the apple for yourself.''

This research applies to all societies where females migrate more than men or vice versa. It is this demographic inequality that makes it more likely that children who are helpful to others are related through their father's genes, not their mother's genes.

The study has been published in the journal Evolution.

Customer care Phone numbers bank Of America

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Bank of America
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PO Box 25118
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Customer care Phone numbers ICICI bank

24hr Customer Care numbers for Retail Customers

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For NRIs.
Toll-free numbers

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Singapore: 800 ICICI 4U  [800-424-2448]

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Customer Service Phone number AT&T

Contact AT&T by Phone

For service or support questions including existing order status, call:


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Amazon Customer Care Phone numbers

Amazon US Customer Service


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EBay: 408-376-7400

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Remit2India Customer Center Phone numbers

Remit2India Customer Center


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Remit2India Customer Care is also available on Chat. Simply log in and a Customer Service Executive will be more than happy to assist you on chat. This is a simple and fast way to get your queries answered.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

How To Deal With Difficult And Crude Boss....

A difficult boss is a challenge for anyone but there are ways to handle the situation. Your boss may be a micromanager, racist, sexist, a bully or plays favorite or worse all the above. Try the following tips and hopefully they will help you with the situation:

Step 1:
Analyze your actions
Make an honest analysis of your work, has your job performance declined when the "dreadful" boss came into the picture? Have you been slacking? If you have, try re-focusing on the projects at hand, and see if there are any changes in the boss's behavior.


Step 2:
Make a list of the boss's bad behavior
Try to keep a journal of all the behaviors that you might think are unethical, unprofessional, or abusive. Just jot down the facts, not your reactions to the events.


Step 3:
Find a mentor
If you love the company but can't deal with your bad boss, another solution could be to develop a mentoring relationship with another supervisor in another department of the company.


Step 4:
Report to Human Resources
A last resort is reporting the bad actions of your boss to Human Resources. This can have either positive or negative reactions. Human Resources would do something about the situation or in the worst-case scenario you could be branded as a complainer and the tension between you and your boss could be higher.


Step 5:
Don't take it
If your boss has a difficult management style-it doesn't mean you have to take it, respond with professionalism.
  • If your boss insults or put you down, respond calmly that putting you down or insulting you doesn't resolve the problem, and that there is a better way to deal with the situation.
    Or if your boss is a micromanaging type that breathes down your neck, try explaining to him that you are uncomfortable when someone is micromanaging you. Most times the person will step back.



  • Step 6:
    Know when its too much
    If your boss's behavior makes you feel bad, then the abuse becomes more of a serious problem. Sometimes scheduling a meeting with your boss can be effective, talk to them about the issues and see if you can find a middle-ground. l If the bullying has had a prolonged effect in your health and personal life, and all your vacation and sick days have been used up to take a break from work, it is time to get out.


    Step 7:
    Don't sacrifice your health
    The worst thing that you can do- is do nothing. The reality is problems do not resolve themselves. No job, boss or company is worth losing your health or self-esteem. If you can't find a way to resolve the issue and your boss will never change their behavior, you should start working your network and begin looking for a new job. Try if possible not to quit before having something lined up.


    Step 8:
    Take control
    Even after you leave your abusive boss you might still have to explain why you left or leaving in the middle of an interview. Try to control the interview the best you can. Do not list your boss as a reference; instead try a former co-worker, who has worked with you.



    If your boss's behavior makes you feel bad, then the abuse becomes more of a serious problem. Sometimes scheduling a meeting with your boss can be effective, talk to them about the issues and see if you can find a middle-ground. If the bullying has had a prolonged effect in your health and personal life, and all your vacation and sick days have been used up to take a break from work, it is time to get out.

    Step 9:
    Don't sacrifice your health
    The worst thing that you can do is do nothing. The reality is problems do not resolve themselves. No job, boss or company is worth losing your health or self-esteem. If you can't find a way to resolve the issue and your boss will never change their behavior, you should start working your network and begin looking for a new job. Try if possible not to quit before having something lined up.


    It takes two to tango… Maybe you’re the boss, and have a difficult employee. Any chance they think you’re behaving badly? You might be as nice as cherry pie, but if you’ve been cast as the wicked witch, you’re going to clash and clash and clash some more until you get a little mutual understanding going on.
    It is possible to be a great person and a bad boss. They key to a successful working relationship, is to separate the behaviour from the person. Is the bad behaviour temporary due to over-work or personal stress, or due to something as simple as lack of management skills. Being sensitive to the underlying reasons means your boss can save face and improve their behaviour appropriately.
    Here are 7 of the usual bad management suspects…….

    The Bland Boss
    A bland boss is as much use as a chocolate fireguard! They usually avoid risk or conflict at all cost, are vague and flit between decisions.

    First off, you need to notice which situations trigger their bland or weak behaviour. If they regularly avoid conflict, they may need to be liked by everyone, so take someone else into combat with you or maybe get their boss to assume a greater leadership role.

    If they are vague and provide little direction, it may be they’re lacking management skills and don’t realise that’s their job. Often unskilled or inexperienced managers are uncomfortable telling someone what to do. Train your manager by being clear about the direction you need to do your job, making sure they commit it to writing, so you both know what’s agreed.

    The Grunt Boss
    The grunt has no original thought, drive or ambition. In fact, two short planks of wood’d make a better boss.

    You’ve got a fantastic idea, which you’ve researched and know will work, and take it to your grunt boss to agree how to implement it. Bad idea. At best they’ll tell you why it won’t work, at worst they’ll just not have the brain power to comprehend something new. The best way to manage a grunt is to let them stick to what they know, and wait patiently for the next round of down-sizing and wave them off the premises.

    The Control-Freak Boss
    The controlling manager barely lets you cough in a meeting let alone say something original or creative. You’re being managed at such an itty bitty level of detail you feel like a single cell specimen under a microscope. Anything that doesn’t conform is changed or rejected. Eventually you suffer from learned helplessness, the inability to think or function for yourself.

    What's driving this behaviour? Usually it’s anxiety about failing or making mistakes, and micro-managing tasks gives them a reassuring feeling that the correct steps are being taken. Provide that reassurance by detailing the steps you’ve taken, who’ve you’ve spoken to and how you’ve assessed and addressed any risks.

    The Politician Boss
    The political manager is a self-interested self-promoter, and generates more spin than a flywheel. You can trust them about as far as you can throw them.

    Politicians are often easy to upwardly manage. Get their support by emphasising how good they’ll look to their seniors, Avoid being a potential scapegoat, by getting public written support for anything risky or controversial. Politicians often play favourites, so enjoy it while it lasts, and don’t take it personally when you’re dropped.

    The Absent Manager
    When your main conversation with your boss is a hurried chat masquerading as an annual appraisal, you could say you’ve got an absent manager. No manager may be better than an absent manager.

    The absent manager goes missing in action, traveling across the globe, or is just plain busy. The secret is getting on their radar by getting in their diary. Establish a routine for communication, and stick to it. Maximise face time, by preparing thoroughly beforehand. Think and talk in headlines, summing up what decisions they need to make, or direction they need to give and get out. It might take more effort on your part, but your manager will respect you for it.

    The Whip-Cracker Boss
    The whip-cracker knows when you’re goofing off. The whip-cracker knows when you’re just thinking about goofing off. The whip-cracker doesn’t sleep, drink or pee. Or have a life.
    And they don’t expect you to have a life either. Or be human.

    It’s useful to take a long term view with a whip-cracker. Is there some major deadline looming that explains the behaviour? Or does lightening up scare them to death? Decide how many extra miles you are prepared to go, and how often, and live with it.

    The Spiteful Manager
    In its extreme mutation, the spiteful manager is a bully. The bully’s raison d’etre is to belittle people for pleasure. A bully is the nasty and ruthless wicked witch (or wizard!)

    Have a look around – is your manager singling you out or are there other victims? If you’re the unlucky one, maybe your styles clash – you’re need for detailed direction is perceived as clingy neediness – so consider changing your approach. Or it may be that the manager just doesn’t get the subtleties of interpersonal communication and has a miniscule emotional IQ. Then at least you know it’s not personal!

    Take a look at this bullying article and find out how to beat the bully.

    Regardless of which type of management style your boss has, the best way to change their behaviour is to talk to them. Giving effective feedback, at least makes them aware of their behaviour, its impact on you, and more importantly how you would prefer them to behave. With time and luck, the boss’s behaviour will improve, but if not, you’ve got two choices. Maybe everything else in your work and life is good enough for you to grin and bear it or do what many people do - quit your boss and move on.


    This is a normal and I'd say, this is a situation which is still in control. In this situation be assured some-one or other always there to hear you. (HR, always is there to listen you).


    But, Imagine the situation, you're doing contractural job. "Your Boss is King " . What you gonna do in that sitaution. Situation is even worst, if you love your job and you're in need to this job. We'll discuss about that in my next blog.

    Also read more:

    1. Gain your self confidence:
    http://journeyallover.blogspot.com/2010/08/how-to-get-self-confidence-back.html

    2.  Gain your Self Esteem:
    http://journeyallover.blogspot.com/2010/08/low-self-esteem-get-it-high.html
    http://journeyallover.blogspot.com/2010/08/generate-self-esteem.html

    3. Selfish By Nature: Whom to Blame:
    http://journeyallover.blogspot.com/2010/09/selfish-by-nature-whom-to-blame.html

    4. Avoid :"Worst Office manners; that irritates Bosses"
    http://journeyallover.blogspot.com/2011/01/10-worst-office-manners-which-irritate.html

    5. Dealing with Bad Bosses:
    http://journeyallover.blogspot.com/2010/07/dealing-with-bad-boss.html
    http://journeyallover.blogspot.com/2010/07/dealing-with-bad-boss.html

    6. Decode Dylexia
    http://journeyallover.blogspot.com/2010/04/dyslexia-decoded.html

    Read more: How to Deal with a Difficult Boss
    http://www.ehow.com/how_2173855_deal-difficult-boss.html#ixzz0wSWLPc5d

    Thursday, August 5, 2010

    Generate Self Esteem.......


    People with low self-esteem engage in subconscious behaviors that undermine their success, making them less likely to ask for or get promotions, raises and even jobs.

    According to Lois Frankel, Ph.D., president of Corporate Coaching International and author of the bestselling Nice Girls Don't Get The Corner Office, ''People with low self-esteem often try to remain under the radar screen because they don't want to be noticed, but especially in this economy, that is the wrong thing to do.''


    What's worse, low self-esteem may mask positive traits in an individual. ''We make assumptions about people who exhibit behaviors of low self-esteem,'' says Frankel. ''We may ascribe lower intelligence, even though that's not true.''

    Signs of Low Self-Esteem
    Frankel identifies certain traits in individuals with low work self-esteem: Generally, they are people with low confidence who are risk-averse. They are less likely to speak up in meetings or to take on challenging tasks, which can lead superiors to believe they are ineffective. None of which is good when you're fighting to stay afloat in a competitive work environment.

    Low self-esteem may also manifest itself through body language and presentation. Sharon Fountain, president of the National Association for Self Esteem, points to ''uptalk'' as a particular culprit. That is, saying all of your statements as though they are questions, which makes you seem less confident. Speaking too quietly, which denotes fear, and not making enough gestures to emphasize points and convey energy can also betray you in important work settings, especially when it comes to landing the job.

    Effects of Low Self-Esteem
    These subconscious behaviors may evolve out of a fear of rejection, but they actually have the effect of being deal breakers during an interview.
    It's a double-edged sword, explains Nathaniel Branden a California-based psychologist and pioneer in the field of self-esteem, since ''the fear of being rejected leads to ... behaviors that ensure your fears come true.''

    In fact, one of the most dangerous behaviors that people with low self-esteem tend to exhibit is pessimism.

    A person with low self-esteem may ask for a raise this way: ''I realize we've had a bad year and there have been layoffs, but I've been doing more work and I think I deserve a raise.''
    ''You just gave [your superior] ammunition to say no,'' Frankel says.

    Instead of highlighting the negative, Frankel advises a positive approach backed up by hard-core evidence: Try something like, ''In the past 12 months, I've taken on 25% more responsibility and have been working more hours and I think I deserve to be compensated.''
    ''Now you haven't set yourself up to fail,'' Frankel says.

    Managing Low Self-Esteem
    The concept of self-esteem has been around since about the 1940s and has been contested for almost as long. But whether or not our culture is responsible for ever-increasing self-worth issues, the fact remains that people with higher self-esteem have better work experiences than their less confident counterparts.
    In several studies conducted between 2005 and 2007, University of Florida professor Timothy Judge found that people with high core self evaluations, or positive self-concepts, had increased levels of job satisfaction, better job performance, higher income, higher work motivation and reduced stress and burnout.

    Ironically, men are better off when it comes to self-esteem on the job, not because they don't have self doubts, but because low confidence manifests differently for women than it does men. ''Men are better at masking it,'' says Frankel.

    Some of the biggest mistakes women make include asking permission to do things and over-explaining yourself, which can belittle your message. One quick fix is trying to use 25% fewer words in conversations and e-mails so as not to dilute your point.

    On the flip side, ''lack of confidence can be a supreme driver, leading people to become workaholics,'' says Fountain, who notes that people with low self-esteem can accomplish just as much as their more confidant counterparts. ''They just may not have enjoyed the process or have as much fun doing it.''
    Banishing Low Self-Esteem for Good

    Unfortunately, we're fighting a losing battle. In the past decade work has gone from being a source for self-esteem to being a self-esteem drainer. Demand for productivity has grown so much that most of us feel as if we aren't doing enough, no matter how much we actually accomplish.
    But there are things you can do to boost your self-esteem anyway. Frankel goes by the adage, ''fake it until you make it.'' This will not only convince your superiors, but it will also help you rejigger your thought processes.

    Changing less-than-ideal-behaviors, like a propensity to stay mum in meetings, is another good idea: The first two to three people to speak during a meeting are seen as more self-confident, says Frankel, and "in business, that pays off."

    Fountain emphasizes that self-esteem can be learned. It may sound silly, but positive self-talk can be empowering. So when those negative thoughts telling you you're not good enough pop into your head, recognize them and replace them with positive ones.

    ''What you're doing is working with the unconscious mind,'' she explains, ''which is extraordinarily powerful and extremely stupid.'' In other words, it is perfectly within your power to fool your unconscious mind, allowing you to banish low self-esteem for good.

    Low Self-Esteem .. Get it high....

    People with low self-esteem have subconscious behaviors that hinder career advancement and sabotage their chances of getting a job. But engaging in certain behaviors can actually boost your confidence. 
    Here are some tips to give your self-esteem a makeover.



    1. Go ahead, talk to yourself

    You know that voice in your head that tells you you're not doing a good enough job or that your boss hates you? Tell it to shut up. Seriously. It may sound crazy, but self-talk actually works to boost self-esteem, says Sharon Fountain, president of the National Association for Self-Esteem. She advises making a red stop sign and posting it on your phone, computer or office wall as a reminder to dispute negative thoughts (and exchange them for positive ones).

    2. Get an accountability partner

    According to psychologist Ellen McGrath, founder of the Bridge Coaching Institute, a great way to raise your self-esteem is to set--and accomplish--new goals involving aspects of your job that make you unhappy. The best way to ensure success: Ask someone else hold you accountable--like a career coach or someone from your social network--because you'll feel obligated to follow through with your plan.

    3. "Fake it until you make it"

    According to Lois Frankel, Ph.D., the country's top CEOs don't necessarily have high self-esteem, they're just better at masking their insecurities. Faking a high self-esteem by feigning confidence will not only make you look more effective to your superiors--which can mean a raise or promotion--but can actually lead to a real self-esteem boost. What you're doing is tricking your mind into making certain behaviors second nature, and pretty soon, they will be.

    4. Speak up, but say less

    There is a time and a place for everything, but keeping mum during a meeting is highly unadvisable, as the first two to three people to speak up are seen as more self confident. Just be sure not to talk too much. Women in general use too many words to soften their message and end up looking like they lack confidence. Cut your word count by a quarter and present the most important pieces of information first.




    5. Modify your behavior

    It's not easy to change behaviors that have been ingrained from a young age, but if you find yourself apologizing before you speak or engaging in "uptalk" (saying your statements as if they are questions), which are both low self-esteem giveaways, nip the behaviors in the bud. By merely acknowledging your tendency to do these things, you can begin to change them.




    6. Take on more challenges

    By taking on more challenges at work, you'll transcend your comfort zone and realize that fear can't stop you. You'll also show your superiors that you're confident and have leadership capabilities. Remember, nothing boosts self-esteem like a track record of success. Being successful at even one new task can do wonders for your mental health. And if you're worried about failing, don't be. Most successful businesspeople have fallen on their faces at one point or another. The difference is they've gotten back up and started over.




    7. Accept praise

    Charles Healy, a professor emeritus at UCLA who has been studying self-esteem and career development for four decades, says a hallmark of people with low self-esteem is not being able to accept praise. So next time your boss tells you you're doing a good job, accept the complement graciously. If nobody recognizes your hard work, find your own praise. Let people know what you've been up to. " Don't push it under a rock," says Healy.

    8. Take control

    The most confident people are those who are satisfied in their careers, according to Healy. So if you are unhappy at work, look for ways to re-engineer your job--or find a new one. Also, don't forget other aspects of life: "Your career and personal life have a reciprocal relationship, so if you're happier in life, you're happier in your career," says Healy.



    <>

    Wednesday, August 4, 2010

    How to Get Self Confidence back....


    Taking control of your self-confidence....
    1. Groom yourself. This seems like such an obvious one, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image. There have been days when I turned my mood around completely with this one little thing.
    2. Dress nicely. A corollary of the first item above … if you dress nicely, you’ll feel good about yourself. You’ll feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing nicely means something different for everyone … it doesn’t necessarily mean wearing a $500 outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are nice looking and presentable.
    3. Photoshop your self-image. Our self-image means so much to us, more than we often realize. We have a mental picture of ourselves, and it determines how confident we are in ourselves. But this picture isn’t fixed and immutable. You can change it. Use your mental Photoshopping skills, and work on your self-image. If it’s not a very good one, change it. Figure out why you see yourself that way, and find a way to fix it.
    4. Think positive. One of the things I learned when I started running, about two years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts (see next item) with positive ones. How I can actually change my thoughts, and by doing so make great things happened. With this tiny little skill, I was able to train for and run a marathon within a year. It sounds so trite, soNorman Vincent Peale, but my goodness this works. Seriously. Try it if you haven’t.
    5. Kill negative thoughts. Goes hand-in-hand with the above item, but it’s so important that I made it a separate item. You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing. When I was running, sometimes my mind would start to say, “This is too hard. I want to stop and go watch TV.” Well, I soon learned to recognize this negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs. When I caught one, I would stomp on it (mentally of course) and squash it. Kill it dead. Then replace it with a positive one. (“C’mon, I can do this! Only one mile left!”)
    Know yourself and you will win all battles. – Sun Tzu
    6. Get to know yourself. When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can’t defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analyzing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they’re real limitations or just ones you’ve allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you’ll come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence.
    7. Act positive. More than just thinking positive, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It’s one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Act in a positive way, take action instead of telling yourself you can’t, be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You’ll soon start to notice a difference.
    8. Be kind and generous. Oh, so corny. If this is too corny for you, move on. But for the rest of you, know that being kind to others, and generous with yourself and your time and what you have, is a tremendous way to improve your self-image. You act in accordance with the Golden Rule, and you start to feel good about yourself, and to think that you are a good person. It does wonders for your self-confidence, believe me.
    9. Get prepared. It’s hard to be confident in yourself if you don’t think you’ll do well at something. Beat that feeling by preparing yourself as much as possible. Think about taking an exam: if you haven’t studied, you won’t have much confidence in your abilities to do well on the exam. But if you studied your butt off, you’re prepared, and you’ll be much more confident. Now think of life as your exam, and prepare yourself.
    10. Know your principles and live them. What are the principles upon which your life is built? If you don’t know, you will have trouble, because your life will feel directionless. For myself, I try to live the Golden Rule (and fail often). This is my key principle, and I try to live my life in accordance with it. I have others, but they are mostly in some way related to this rule (the major exception being to “Live my Passion”). Think about your principles … you might have them but perhaps you haven’t given them much thought. Now think about whether you actually live these principles, or if you just believe in them but don’t act on them.
    11. Speak slowly. Such a simple thing, but it can have a big difference in how others perceive you. A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn’t want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to. Even if you don’t feel the confidence of someone who speaks slowly, try doing it a few times. It will make you feel more confident. Of course, don’t take it to an extreme, but just don’t sound rushed either.
    12. Stand tall. I have horrible posture, so it will sound hypocritical for me to give this advice, but I know it works because I try it often. When I remind myself to stand tall and straight, I feel better about myself. I imagine that a rope is pulling the top of my head toward the sky, and the rest of my body straightens accordingly. As an aside, people who stand tall and confident are more attractive. That’s a good thing any day, in my book.
    13. Increase competence. How do you feel more competent? By becoming more competent. And how do you do that? By studying and practicing. Just do small bits at a time. If you want to be a more competent writer, for example, don’t try to tackle the entire profession of writing all at once. Just begin to write more. Journal, blog, write short stories, do some freelance writing. The more you write, the better you’ll be. Set aside 30 minutes a day to write (for example), and the practice will increase your competence.
    14. Set a small goal and achieve it. People often make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when they fail, they get discouraged. Instead, shoot for something much more achievable. Set a goal you know you can achieve, and then achieve it. You’ll feel good about that. Now set another small goal and achieve that. The more you achieve small goals, the better you’ll be at it, and the better you’ll feel. Soon you’ll be setting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.
    15. Change a small habit. Not a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one, like writing things down. Or waking up 10 minutes earlier. Or drinking a glass of water when you wake up. Something small that you know you can do. Do it for a month. When you’ve accomplished it, you’ll feel like a million bucks.
    16. Focus on solutions. If you are a complainer, or focus on problems, change your focus now. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for your confidence and your career. “I’m fat and lazy!” So how can you solve that? “But I can’t motivate myself!” So how can you solve that? “But I have no energy!” So what’s the solution?
    17. Smile. Another trite one. But it works. I feel instantly better when I smile, and it helps me to be kinder to others as well. A little tiny thing that can have a chain reaction. Not a bad investment of your time and energy.
    18. Volunteer. Related to the “be kind and generous” item above, but more specific. It’s the holiday season right now … can you find the time to volunteer for a good cause, to spread some holiday cheer, to make the lives of others better? It’ll be some of the best time you’ve ever spent, and an amazing side benefit is that you’ll feel better about yourself, instantly.
    19. Be grateful. I’m a firm believer in gratitude, as anyone who’s been reading this blog for very long knows well. But I put it here because while being grateful for what you have in life, for what others have given you, is a very humbling activity … it can also be a very positive and rewarding activity that will improve your self-image. 
    20. Exercise. Gosh, I seem to put this one on almost every list. But if I left it off this list I would be doing you a disservice. Exercise has been one of my most empowering activities in the last couple years, and it has made me feel so much better about myself.
    All you have to do is take a walk a few times a week, and you’ll see benefits. Start the habit.
    21. Empower yourself with knowledge. Empowering yourself, in general, is one of the best strategies for building self-confidence. You can do that in many ways, but one of the surest ways to empower yourself is through knowledge. This is along the same vein as building competence and getting prepared … by becoming more knowledgeable, you’ll be more confident … and you become more knowledgeable by doing research and studying. The Internet is a great tool, of course, but so are the people around you, people who have done what you want, books, magazines, and educational institutions.
    22. Do something you’ve been procrastinating on. What’s on your to-do list that’s been sitting there? Do it first thing in the morning, and get it out of the way. You’ll feel great about yourself.
    23. Get active. Doing something is almost always better than not doing anything. Of course, doing something could lead to mistakes … but mistakes are a part of life. It’s how we learn. Without mistakes, we’d never get better. So don’t worry about those. Just do something. Get off your butt and get active — physically, or active by taking steps to accomplish something.
    24. Work on small things. Trying to take on a huge project or task can be overwhelming and daunting and intimidating for anyone, even the best of us. Instead, learn to break off small chunks and work in bursts. Small little achievements make you feel good, and they add up to big achievements. Learn to work like this all the time, and soon you’ll be a self-confident maniac.
    25. Clear your desk. This might seem like a small, simple thing (then again, for some of you it might not be so small). But it has always worked wonders for me. If my desk starts to get messy, and the world around me is in chaos, clearing off my desk is my way of getting a little piece of my life under control. It is the calm in the center of the storm around me.

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