Here are some tips to give your self-esteem a makeover.
1. Go ahead, talk to yourself
You know that voice in your head that tells you you're not doing a good enough job or that your boss hates you? Tell it to shut up. Seriously. It may sound crazy, but self-talk actually works to boost self-esteem, says Sharon Fountain, president of the National Association for Self-Esteem. She advises making a red stop sign and posting it on your phone, computer or office wall as a reminder to dispute negative thoughts (and exchange them for positive ones).
2. Get an accountability partner
According to psychologist Ellen McGrath, founder of the Bridge Coaching Institute, a great way to raise your self-esteem is to set--and accomplish--new goals involving aspects of your job that make you unhappy. The best way to ensure success: Ask someone else hold you accountable--like a career coach or someone from your social network--because you'll feel obligated to follow through with your plan.
3. "Fake it until you make it"
According to Lois Frankel, Ph.D., the country's top CEOs don't necessarily have high self-esteem, they're just better at masking their insecurities. Faking a high self-esteem by feigning confidence will not only make you look more effective to your superiors--which can mean a raise or promotion--but can actually lead to a real self-esteem boost. What you're doing is tricking your mind into making certain behaviors second nature, and pretty soon, they will be.
4. Speak up, but say less
There is a time and a place for everything, but keeping mum during a meeting is highly unadvisable, as the first two to three people to speak up are seen as more self confident. Just be sure not to talk too much. Women in general use too many words to soften their message and end up looking like they lack confidence. Cut your word count by a quarter and present the most important pieces of information first.
5. Modify your behavior
It's not easy to change behaviors that have been ingrained from a young age, but if you find yourself apologizing before you speak or engaging in "uptalk" (saying your statements as if they are questions), which are both low self-esteem giveaways, nip the behaviors in the bud. By merely acknowledging your tendency to do these things, you can begin to change them.
6. Take on more challenges
By taking on more challenges at work, you'll transcend your comfort zone and realize that fear can't stop you. You'll also show your superiors that you're confident and have leadership capabilities. Remember, nothing boosts self-esteem like a track record of success. Being successful at even one new task can do wonders for your mental health. And if you're worried about failing, don't be. Most successful businesspeople have fallen on their faces at one point or another. The difference is they've gotten back up and started over.
7. Accept praise
Charles Healy, a professor emeritus at UCLA who has been studying self-esteem and career development for four decades, says a hallmark of people with low self-esteem is not being able to accept praise. So next time your boss tells you you're doing a good job, accept the complement graciously. If nobody recognizes your hard work, find your own praise. Let people know what you've been up to. " Don't push it under a rock," says Healy.
8. Take control
The most confident people are those who are satisfied in their careers, according to Healy. So if you are unhappy at work, look for ways to re-engineer your job--or find a new one. Also, don't forget other aspects of life: "Your career and personal life have a reciprocal relationship, so if you're happier in life, you're happier in your career," says Healy.
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